I wish it was Christmas today.

How can you not like this (I suppose if your Jewish?)?

Awwwww . . . .

Best Christmas Decoration Ever

This is brilliant. Apparently, the cops even had to tell the guy to take this down because they almost crashed as they drove by. You know you're doing something right when the cops have to tell you to stop.

Best Halloween Costume Ever

Yeah he may be scarred for life but it's probably worth it. I mean think how cool this kid will be in 16 years. Ok, he will probably be the emo kid but he shouldn't forget the good times .

The internet is awesome . . .

Just the other day I posted a video from Disney World that was filmed with a tilt-shift lens. Well through the magic of the internet, I found a site that will let you "tilt-shift" your own pictures. And it will let you upload up to a 6000 x 6000 resolution. So the D90's pictures are in play. And play I did. . .

EDIT: A long time reader of the blog brought up that something was missing from this post. The website for this. Here it is: http://tiltshiftmaker.com/ . Now you can tilt-shift your own pictures. Even the Timmy and Freddie gay porn ones.

Twins, Game 163!!1??

Here are a few pic's from the Twins' 163rd game. They really should figure out how to be in first place before the end of the season. Oh well, it makes for some good ball (that's what the cool kids call it).This is our view of the first pitch we saw (because we didn't exactly get to the game on time. It was a little tricky getting downtown and then finding a parking spot). And yeah, this is from the 10th row. Boosh.

The obligatory Joe Mauer pic. Did you know he's from Saint Paul?
I want to say that this was the game tying run by Cabrera but I'm not 100% sure. Hey, give me a break the game was last week (maybe I should have posted these pic's sooner then?)
Here is another pic of Cabrera. This time he is politely telling the ump that his momma wears combat boots (that may not have been his actually words).
Twins Win!!1
Some post-game celebration. If you want the complete game experience, play some New York, New York by Frank Sinatra and yell like you're being raped by Bigfoot (the mythical creature, not the monster truck (although that would probably hurt too)). And that would be like being there.
Mauer starting the victory lap around the Dome.
TC just cruising around trying to pick up some babes. And check out the tires on that thing. I wonder if they are specifically designed for driving on carpet. He'll have to switch those next year.

Tilt-Shifted Disney World

I've been trying to find a cool tilt-shift image or video to use on the blog for a while now (not actively searching, more just if I happened to find something). Why? Because it's the bomb. I don't really remember all the specifics about how this works and why but it basically makes everything look like a toy. And when you pair the tilt-shift lens with one of the DSLR cameras that also takes video, well you get something like this video. Could you imagine how cool the pictures from the Twins' 163 game would have been if I had something like this. Oh that's right, I haven't done a post with those pic's yet. I will though (even though the Twins are done, it was still a great game worthy of reliving).

Nice burnout bro!!1

Haha. . . that is all that needs to be said.


It was fun while it lasted. If you missed it, let me sum it up for you. Dude has a Dodge SRT-10 truck (probably new, just guessing. I didn't see the window sticker on it or anything but let's just figure its new) and some other dude has a video camera. So they decide to put the two together and make a sweet gay porn movie. After that they decided to film dude 1 do a sweet burnout. Which is fine until the back of the truck starts swinging out to the right. And then he drives into the ditch, which then flips his truck onto the roof. Camera man then say's "Fuck" a bunch of times. The end.

Things that make you go hmmm . . .

As I was waiting for an oil change, tire rotate, brake check, rotary girder check, muffler belt, and blinker fluid check at the friendly dealership tonight, I noticed something odd sitting on the display rack. Official Toyota Carburetor Cleaner. And this wasn't some old can leftover from when they sold cars with carbs. This was brand new looking. Which brings up this question, when was the last time Toyota sold a car that had a carburetor? And also, why would a person driving one of these cars actually go to a dealership to purchase this? It's a strange world out there folks (look whose talking).

Do you like fish dicks?

You must be a gay fish then. Yep the "Hollywood Insssider Rumor" Department is back open on the blog. After our friend Timma broke the news that Adam Lambert is gay, your ol' buddie (me) has more breaking news. Kanye West likes attention. Actually, I just wanted to use the gay fish bit to see if anyone (besides me) watches South Park anymore.

Straight Outta Compton (or Shakopee)

That's right, the home base is now located in Shakopee (shack o' pee?).  I believe it is indian (china men is not the preferred nomenclature (you know, from The Big Lebowski)) for "close to Mystic Lake". Ok, so it might not mean exactly that. But I can say for a fact that the Susinater and I are now living in Shakopee. Actually we have been moved in for a few days now but the cable guy just left, so we are officially connected back to the internet (oh and thanks to our neighbor that didn't have a secure wireless connection). Now we just have to get ready for our party out at Buck's place on Saturday. And if you don't know about it, shoot me a text, email, call, smoke signal, or even a comment here. If you show up, there is probably a good chance a picture of you will end up on the blog (how's that for incentive . . . not). As a public service reminder, beer's will be consumed after 4 (even though it says that the deal is from 2-4, the drunk party will start at 4). 

12.42 miles, 156 turns, and a 800hp Ford Fiesta

Yeah, the video is a little long at 9:04. But it's worth it. And click that HD button on the player. And turn up the sound too.

Back to the Fiddy's

So these pic's are from a month ago when Tim and I made the pilgrimage to the Minnesota holy land of hot rods, Back to the Fifty's. I won't bore you too much with my whining about most of the stuff out there (and besides I already did that a couple of posts ago). And hell, I only took 46 pictures. But some of the stuff going on in the pic's is worth noting. Like the first pic, this rad drag car (I think Tim said it was an actual drag car from the 70's (there was a sheet with the history on it, but I can't read or write so Tim read it) was just hanging out outside of the Women's bathroom. Which worked out well when I was waiting for Tim to go to the bathroom. Boosh. Then there is the puking chicken, which we found in the auction area. I think only one word could describe it, fuck. In the big yellow truck pic, it looks like someone is eyeballing Tim. He likes the way Tim poses. If you couldn't tell, we were noticing the trucks a little more than previous years. Not sure why, but they seemed to stand out a little more than the before. And how about the AMC intake setup, for only $975.

I'm on a boat (or will be on Friday)!!!1

That's right I'll be on a boat, everybody look at me (and everyone else at Kelly & Bryce's Wedding). I just hope that I can get my "Captain of the Boat" clothes and cap back from the cleaners in time. And I hope that T-Pain is there. Did you hear that he fucked a mermaid? Sweet.

Back to the 50's? (aka moving Tim's post down)

Well, it is almost time for the first real sunburn of the year (or at least for me since I stay inside all day and never see the sun (actually I just want to be like the cool kids from Twilight (and let's never mention that movie again on here))). That's right. Back to the 50's. The annual car show that dominates the state fairgrounds more than something that gets dominated really hard (I couldn't come up with a David Carradine joke, so that's all you're going to get). Oh sure, I can tell you that it takes up the whole fairgrounds. But that doesn't really sink in until you're actually there and after 3 hours of walking you realize you've barely covered half of the show. And then you can start to feel the sunburn. I included these pictures to give you an idea of what you mostly see there. So let's run through these. Pic 1: A bunch of old people walking around, some dude in a muscle shirt, rockin a sweet goatee/stasch combo platter that is popular with Beer League Softball players, oh yeah and an Ardun engined rod (finally got to say "rod", he he). Not the most traditional styled vehicle there but still not bad. At least he has vintage style tires. Which leads us into pic 2. And this one is the more common style at BTT50's (I just made that up, in case you couldn't tell). Some takes a bunch of new parts and puts them with some old stuff and put a huge engine in it. Which I'm not saying is the wrong way to do it but it doesn't seem as cool. I mean the dual Demon carbs mounted on top of a light bending blower, is pretty fucking sweet. But new style white wall tires, weak. Probably "faked" bullet holes in the side panels, extra weak. Some dude in combat boots and shorts, not my thing (but maybe Adam Lamberts). Oh well, to each his own. And if you feel like walking about 3,000 miles around the state fairgrounds (and they do have corn dogs, lemonade, and other fair type food) next weekend, let me know. And to make things even better, and thanks to my ol' buddy Lance, we may have a free pass in. Nice.

ADAM LAMBERT AMERICAN IDOL RUNNER UP IS GAY!!!

Oh hey, did you hear that Adam Lambert is gay? Who knew? Oh yeah every goddamed person did including his gay boyfriend. Those pictures of him leaving the gay dance club, holding another gay guy's hand apparently wasn't enough evidence of that. Is anyone else tired of hearing about this! I mean come on. WHO couldn't see that one coming? Really! I don't even watch American Idol. But the mere fact that I was deluged with this crap all day long, I think I know more about Adam Lambert than his boyfriend does minus the inside parts. I think if I have to hear anything more about this I just might punch someone in the face...twice!!

Ryan Edit: Oh Tim, you're ssssoo ssssssilly!!1

This is the only way I could add a picture in here. You would think that you could add a picture in the comments, but I guess not.

This guy hates tires

I think it's fairly obvious that this German dude loves to punish rear tires. It's probably some sick fetish for him. And he's probably crazy too because that isn't the "stock" engine (if you couldn't tell from the sweet sound). Apparently, it is a turbo Hayabusa engine complete with chain driven rear axle that is obviously where the back seat used to be. Imagine being inside the car with that thing screaming at 11,000 rpm's. Fuck.

Hummer in Jurassic Park??/?

I figured I probably should throw these pics up now before they get really old. While we were in Hawaii; Tim, Jen, Susie, and I went on a Lost Hummer tour (no it's not a tour about getting a hummer)(and it's Lost as in the popular television series). And right now you're thinking "those pictures looked like they were from Jurassic Park, there is even a Jurassic Park sign there." And that is correct, good job! Except the first pic is from Lost, so suck it. And for the most part, our pics that are of the Lost stuff is probably pretty boring to anyone that does not watch it, which is probably everyone that reads this besides Tim, Jen, Susie, and I. Sooo, if you want pics of that stuff, just let me know and I'll post them and we can all nerd out to them. But for now just enjoy us being scared of the T-Rex.

edit: I forgot to add that the last picture is from Timmy. Actually it was the tour guide that took the pic but it's from Timbob's camera. Just had to give credit where credit is due. And I thought that someone would have said something when they saw the D90 in my hand.

Concert Review (aka flailing my appendages in attempts that no one gets within three feet of actually touching me, aka what happened to mosh pits?)

Oh sure it's been a while since the last blog. But I've been busy (and here is where you think to yourself, yeah . . . right). Trip on this for a while, I was actually in Fargo for 5 days (2 days one week and then 3 the next week). So that right there should be worth something. And yes, there is a lot water up there. And for those people that were at the Twins game holding a sign that said "Fargo Flood Survivor", congratulations you were smart enough to move behind the dykes (yes I finally had a reason to type "dykes"). Ah, fuck it (that's your answer for everything isn't it Mr. Lebowski). On to the "Concert Review" or at least the view I have on it. Last night the Susinater 3000, Kelly Kelly Kelly, B.S. (really, thats his initials (and it's fitting if you've ever met him)), and myself went to Station 4 in the fighting city of Saint Paul to see JD (aka Ralph, aka McJohnalds) play. He's just the substitute bass player in the band Venia (if you couldn't have guessed that by the picture above). So let's start at the beginning or at least close to. Just walking up to the door and seeing a few people hanging out outside we knew we were going to be the "different" people. Oh well, we were there for the concert, not the fashion show (and why would you wear the big furry boots to a concert?). When we got in the door, there was some dude by himself singing and playing guitar on stage. I don't remember his name but he was decent enough. Then came 5 other dudes that liked playing really loud and growling. Now I don't mind a little death metal "singing" everyonce in a while, actually I kind of like it. But not this weak growling crap for every song. Sure mix it in every now and then but not all the time for every song. It doesn't make you a good singer. Especially when your band can actually play pretty good. They had kind of a Killswitch Engage sound but with Growler McGrowly singing. And during this band was when the flailing started. This started as expected with a big circle opening and then it got weird. All I could see was arms flailing, helicopter style and getting ready to throw really fast when your 8 years old style. Apparently, that is what the "pit" is now adays. I'm not saying I'm an expert in the field or anything but that's just not how it should be done. But I guess most of the kids were under the age of 20, and probably 75% of those were under 18. So they probably would hate to explain how they got bruises at a concert or why their new shirt was ripped. And the people standing around the circle seemed like they were afraid to hold there ground. If someones coming at you arms flailing it may be scary but you don't have to curl up in the fetal position. If only there was some dude with no teeth, shirt off, and a huge Pantera tatoo on his back there to crush some skulls. You're probably thinking, why didn't you do that? Well, you guys know me. I'm a lover, not a fighter. But I'm also a fighter so don't get any ideas, bub. And remember, there were kids who were under age. That could get you into some trouble. And I'm rocking the glasses again. Anyway, that band finished up in about 30 minutes or less so that was nice. Then came Venia. Let me preface this by saying that I've never seen or heard any of there music before. And let me preface that by saying that yes, they are a "Christian Metal Band". But that doesn't matter much when you can't understand the words anyway. Overall, they are pretty good. The singer actually sang a little but of course had to mix in some growling. You're not hardcore if you dont' growl. But seriously, they put on a good show. And man, JD can play bass pretty good. He had a few little solo type things that were sweet. And of course there was more flailing going on during Venia. Oh well, let them have their fun. Fucking scenesters.

Get Terminated!!!11!

Oh my god you guys! Every once in a while an upcoming movie's website will actually have something cool and I'm not talking about the latest Fast and Furious movie having a bikini model contest on their site. This is much cooler than some latina's badonkadonk on the hood of a '89 Civic. This is from the upcoming Hannah Montana movie . . . (wait for it) . . . Ok, obviously its for the new Terminator movie. You get to upload a pic and "terminate" yourself. If only I found this on a Saturday morning instead of 10:30 on Wednesday night.

http://terminateyourself.com

Report: Auto Show 09 Edition (aka Same shit, different day)

Well . . . Tim and I took in all the Auto Show had to show us last Saturday. Sigh. If you've gone anytime in the past few years, you pretty much saw the same stuff. Now don't get me wrong, we did still have a good time but it just didn't seem as "fresh" and "wow" as years in the past (obviously, it's probably because we didn't have the usual Auto Show crew). And a lot of stuff just seemed kind of dumb. For example, Chevy, Ford, Dodge each had a regular pickup truck (1500, 150, and 1500 respectively) that had a sticker price of $43,000 or more. In case you were wondering, the cheapest was Chevy at $43,000. Then Dodge at $47,000. And at the top was Ford with $48,000. Of course they were all fully loaded, but who buys a truck for that much? Probably someone that doesn't need a truck anyway. But anyway, onto the pics.
1.) Cadillac CTS Wagon (not sure if they just call it Wagon, they probably have some crazy name for it). Probably one of the coolest cars at the show. I love me a good wagon.
2.) 'Ol trusty. I think Tim and I incorrectly labeled this car when we were onsite but it is the Mercury Grand Marquis. Has this car ever changed?
3.) Dodge Charger "Super Bee". Since when is a "Super Bee" a four door car? Tim sure seems to like it though.
4.) Dodge Challenger. Now this is a pretty sweet ride. Or it could be if it just had some different wheels. Seriously Dodge, enough with the chrome wheels on everything. Also I happened to overhear some fucking dolt say "That thing got a Hemi in it?" Really dude. That wasn't even cool 5 years ago. Fuck.
5.) Ford's demonstration of the backup camera in their trucks. Or is this what Tim would look like before getting backed over by a Ford truck?
6.) #1 Days of Thunder fan. Maybe if he got some 24's on that whip he could join the Scrayper Boyz (you know, from the "They Wanna Fuck My Car" video down below).

Chimpanzee Riding On A Segway . . .

Once again, Japan shows why they pretty much rule. Really, who else would come up with something like this?

Best pic from Hawaii???

We're back. I'll let you decide if that is good or bad. But Susie and I are officially married now. And yeah we probably have some wedding photos that I could post . . . but how about something fun (as long as you are not the pictured person (in case you were wondering, it's Susie's brother)). Oh and actually we don't have any pics from our camera's of the actually ceremony. I know it's pretty surprising but we kind of had other things happening. And the photographers were there so we're covered. And everyone else had a camera, so again, we're covered. Anyway, you're probably wondering what the pic is huh? It all started innocently enough. We set sail on a three hour tour (after hearing that about 1,000,001 times, it got old) to see some whales (which we could and did see from the beach, but those are different whales). About 30-40 minutes into the tour, we see JD enter the onboard restroom. Didn't think much about it, so we kept scanning the waters for whales. About 10 minutes later someone points out to me that our ol' buddy JD must have thought we were fishing because he was "chumming" the water over the side of the boat. It just so happens that I had the 12.3 megapixel Nikon D90 all ready in rapid fire mode. So that is how we ended up with this image. Go ahead, take in the 4288x2848 12.3 megapixel goodness.

Oh and I think this was where they filmed Lost. Zing!!1!

Gotta go to the Auto Show.

Well it's getting to be that time of year again (even though it is a few weeks away). Auto Show time. So just wanted to see who wanted to go. Of course it would have to be the 28th since someone will be in Hawaii until the 24th. But let me know.

Crazy.

Here are a few more front engine dragster pics from my vast photo archives (that is just various cool (at least I think they are) pics I've found on the 'ol web). The 60's and 70's must have been pretty ridiculous. And I'm just talking about on the dragstrip. They were more than likely using motorcycle wheels and tires on the front with huge slicks that they would smoke the whole trip down the 1/4 (if they kept the wheels on the ground, see pic 2). Their "safety" equipment, while I suppose it was modern for the time, probably didn't really help that much. I mean, look at what is in front of these guys. If one little bolt happens to shear off in the engine, that thing ends up going through your head. There wasn't a windshield or barely a roll cage for that matter. Just some goggles and maybe a mask. And what is with the chick? A bikini and high heels? At a dragstrip? Nice. That was probably reason enough for most of these guys.

Why bring Hawaiin Punch into this?

If this video doesn't make you want to get a mid-90's Regal and turn it into a bubble donk (google that, it's ridiculous) with lambo doors, I don't know what will. I wonder why no one put Coke on there car? Maybe they're straight edge or something. I'm going to put Tab on my donk (that doesn't sound right but it sounds better than putting Mountain Dew on my donk).

Draggin'

Found this on Church of Choppers blog yesterday afternoon. If you were quick enough, you caught this without this very insightful text (and you're probably wishing it stayed that way, but you're not that lucky). It should be pretty obvious that this is the cockpit (I said cock . . . and yes I am 13) view of a front engine dragster. This one actually doesn't seem like it would be too tough to see around the blower. But once the front wheels get off the ground it won't matter too much.